Broken

Today, She broke me. 

It wasn’t all at once, like a muscle slowly atrophying over time. She had inserted a needle and was slowly draining my blood.

Luckily, ignorance is bliss.

It started on Friday. But that was ok. Like a thousand bee stings are ok. But it was important for me to hear and important for me to know and to process. I had realized something was up. Months of icy silence. She still kept Her commitments to me. That was confusing.
Like a vase kept together with Elmer's, I could have broke then but instead, I waited. I was slightly bruised from a little playground rough housing. Today, Tonight I think the glue let up and a small piece of me broke. She called me the bully. I was disparaging. I didn’t even realize. Her only recourse - silence. I was the bully? I wanted to talk it out.

Maybe its because my expectations were too high. They always say if you don't have expectations then no one can fall short. I don't know. I guess I was just expecting something. Maybe a hot glue gun. And if not that - at least a warning sign. But whatever. It doesn't really matter. This weekend has thrown me off course. A fragile ship in a seemingly endless storm. Maybe mom’s right. Maybe the ship is too wrecked to salvage. But I’d like to believe otherwise. That we will be able to see the sun eventually and not allow the ship to sink. It sounds like a marriage or something but I believe that friendships are the buoys in the tumultuous adventure of life. I don't know. maybe I build stuff up too much. But maybe my feelings are warranted…

For a reason? A season? A lifetime? Only time will tell…