Broken

Today, She broke me. 

It wasn’t all at once, like a muscle slowly atrophying over time. She had inserted a needle and was slowly draining my blood.

Luckily, ignorance is bliss.

It started on Friday. But that was ok. Like a thousand bee stings are ok. But it was important for me to hear and important for me to know and to process. I had realized something was up. Months of icy silence. She still kept Her commitments to me. That was confusing.
Like a vase kept together with Elmer's, I could have broke then but instead, I waited. I was slightly bruised from a little playground rough housing. Today, Tonight I think the glue let up and a small piece of me broke. She called me the bully. I was disparaging. I didn’t even realize. Her only recourse - silence. I was the bully? I wanted to talk it out.

Maybe its because my expectations were too high. They always say if you don't have expectations then no one can fall short. I don't know. I guess I was just expecting something. Maybe a hot glue gun. And if not that - at least a warning sign. But whatever. It doesn't really matter. This weekend has thrown me off course. A fragile ship in a seemingly endless storm. Maybe mom’s right. Maybe the ship is too wrecked to salvage. But I’d like to believe otherwise. That we will be able to see the sun eventually and not allow the ship to sink. It sounds like a marriage or something but I believe that friendships are the buoys in the tumultuous adventure of life. I don't know. maybe I build stuff up too much. But maybe my feelings are warranted…

For a reason? A season? A lifetime? Only time will tell…

The Doddery

The Doddery resides in a shack on the banks of the Superannuated River. It is not a creature of solitude, yet it lives in a perpetual state of lonesomeness. The low, constant murmur that emanates from its mouth is drowned out only by the wheezing and snorting that escapes its nose, intermittently. None of these noises however, compare to the deafening silence that accompanies the Doddery’s vacant stare. Whether in a state of motion or eerily still, the milky white eyes, clouded by cataracts force you to look away, yet mesmerize you to maintain a gruesome-feeling eye contact. The gnarled hands of this monster abruptly grasp the poor soul that manages to come too close. The Doddery moves as slow as a sloth but as methodically as a cheetah stalking its prey, and if one doesn’t watch his step, the painful shuffle may feel like a high speed chase. If the Doddery does manage to catch you, you may not remember your past life. You will be forced to adopt his ways. Once he catches you, there is no turning back. Be warned. There is a peculiar scent that accompanies this beast at all times. It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what it resembles, it is perhaps urine mixed with a fishbones and just a hint of mothballs, but any unfortunate soul that takes a whiff will know it immediately, and the dread that accompanies it will begin to slither up his spine.

I know this because I have been that unfortunate soul. I was immune to the monster in the throes of my youth but as I have begun to understand, the true dread that accompanies this most terrifying of beasts only assaults one’s senses later on in life. There is but one person who has managed to escape the fear of the Doddery and if you hope to as well, you must heed his word. I am on my own journey find the Fountain of Youth.

Carnival

Delighted laughter
Dollar! Always a winner!
Oh Man! Not this time

One hour from here
Screams from those who go before
Fasten seatbelt. AAAAAHHHH!

I hate you. Hate you
Eyes widen. Didn't mean that
Sob. It's just a ride

Colors fill the sky
Eyes staring straight up. Boom! Boom!
Vanish in seconds

Eyelids droop, yawning
Balloon animal in hand
Stomach full. Mind awake

HELP WANTED

You’ve been there since the beginning
Nepotism, I guess they’d call it
No application or interview required
The job was yours
Sight unseen
After 20 years, you must be an expert in your field
Right?

The Perfect Child
At least, that’s what you’d expect your title to be
At this point
You haven’t been told anything to the contrary

And then you get married
And you realize that maybe
Just maybe
You’re not perfect
And perhaps a bit ungrateful
But you’re not that bad
Right?
You did your chores
When you were reminded
Pleaded with
Threatened

And then you have a child
Of your own
And you begin to realize
The position
You believe you earned
When in reality
You were gifted it

Slowly it dawns on you

You should have been fired years ago

Yet, you never got a termination notice
Or meetings warning you
Of all the ways you could improve

You just coasted

Your feeble "thank you’s" didn’t even scratch the surface

But how could they?

And then you have a baby
And realize
There are infinite more things to thank for
Sowing the earth
watering the seeds
nights when the bed goes uncrumpled
textbooks dutifully stacked
with the words needed to get through the day.
All before you even had a memory
And were able to thank them

But hey
That’s love for you
Unconditional

From the first moment
You were awarded tenure
Never a second thought

Better late then never
That’s what they say
Right?

Thanks Mom and Dad